Rezner Hawk

I need some spackle to fix the wall in my room.

There was a mouse. It ran into a crack in the wall. I shot it. And got it. Of course I don't want a dead mouse rotting inside the wall so I had to cut a hole in the wall to get it out.

Spackle. And a trowel. I'll be a regular handy-man.

I am so getting this.





Liquor and guns? I'm there.

The purple hasn't come out yet.

Actually it's faded and almost looks pink.

I am displeased.

And I might have to shoot someone.

ISAAK FUCKING HUDSON I know it was you.

And it better come out or I'm shooting you in the fucking foot!

I think PMS was designed by nature to drive men insane.

I spent three hours down on the range this morning. Consequently, a couple of the target dummies need to be replaced. Kim, can I go through the catelogues and order stuff?

Beck! Woman! Make me some Irish Stew.

It will go with my whiskey. I'll share.

I got a big package of maple smoked bacon.

I'm cooking it all this morning.

And you can't have any. Unless I like you, and then I might feel generous.

Anyone who tries to steal some loses fingers. Just saying.

1. I am not going to shoot the television over the Superbowl. Why? I don't actually give a shit about football. I'm just going for the liquor and food.

2. I am not leaving my guns behind. Don't be stupid.

3. Anyone who tries to take them away from them will lose function in limbs, Isaak is right about that. Don't say you weren't warned.

4. I hope someone is bringing Tequila. Or do I have to do a liquor run?

There isn't much better than the smell of bacon.

Except the smell of gun powder.

So I've decided that tomorrow morning I'm going to cook bacon and shoot the toaster. It will be perfect.

Two things:

1. This is my new laser pointer. It's going to come in handy. It's also a lighter.




2. I'm getting these. And then Beck, you can make me eggs.

The case of Dr. Pepper in the fridge is gone.

I used it for target practice.

Thanks for the gift, Beck. Now I have gun pillows to keep my guns under when I sleep.

I was going to ask who told you it was my birthday but, mind-reader. Natch.

Apparently I'm getting cupcakes tomorrow. No one else eat them or I'll shoot you. Just a little.

If I had a cat, this would be it:



That is all.

Despite a number of technical flaws, Die Hard remains the best movie ever made.

You've got Bruce Willis and you've got a lot of people getting shot. What more could you want in a movie?

The sequels aren't even half bad. Especially the third because it has Samuel Motherfucking Jackson in it.

Despite what all you reality t.v. aficionados think, there is shit on t.v.

So instead I'm going to go shoot something.

Oh and whoever left a pink Hello Kitty Glock for me - yeah, I don't shoot pink handguns. I will add it to the collection though.

There is nothing like spending a Sunday morning cleaning guns. I think I might just move right into the Armory. Or would if Kim would let me. Except Rusty gets so territorial of that place. Why people like dogs I will never understand. If I wanted something large, messy and loud I'd get a child. And I don't want one of those either.

So in short, I won't be moving into the Armory. But I do sleep with a gun under my pillow for those curious. Among other places I keep them. Maybe I'll just call me room Armory 2.

This afternoon was a lot of ‘lift this’, ‘move that’, ‘maneuver this’. Not terribly different than previous Performance Evaluations or Individuals Assessments or whatever they’re calling it these days. A few new tasks to complete. A few new questions to answer. A list of ‘improve on this’.

Sort of like an exam with a disturbing (but hot) teacher.

I think I’ll spend this evening on the shooting range. Kim got some new motion-targets.

Seeing as my death has been conveniently schedualed, I suppose I should start planning the remaining thirteen years of life, shouldn't I? Well at least I fared better than some people.

I spent the better part of the weekend in New York, liberating a few pieces of equipment. Now I'm back and Kim has promised me one of the new SIG Sauer handguns she got in.